Q. Saw relative: I recently lost my house after losing my job and being unable to keep up with the payments. A distant relative graciously let my teenage daughter and myself move in with them and work on their family farm. I sold a large share of my belongings and moved 1,000 miles to their place. My daughter was not happy about leaving her friends and starting a new school midyear. It’s been a difficult time for both of us, but I was grateful for the chance of a new beginning. Now for the problem; I saw their teenage son and his friend engaging in sex acts with the livestock. I’m mortified! I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should talk to his parents or not. This is now my place to live and my employment, but I can’t imagine staying here, whether I tell them or not. I don’t want my daughter around these boys, but I don’t have the means to move again or belongings to furnish it, not to mention how that would affect my daughter.
A: This is so much worse than the liver scene in Portnoy’s Complaint. The boys are engaging in bestiality, which is repulsive and illegal in some states. Sure, your patrons might have a cow when they find out what the boys are doing to the cow, but this is something parents should know. (Although it’s also possible this is something parents really don’t want to know.) These kids are brazen enough to do it where they can be observed, so they need someone to address their impulse control issues. Be as low key as possible with your relative. Say that given that you have a daughter, you don’t want her to see such behavior. And start looking in the want ads because it sounds as if your farm days are numbered.